In a study done by Harvard Business Review, the audience claimed 70-80% of what they hear from children are questions while only 15-25% of their own interactions were questions. What happens is obvious when you look around. We are incentivized to have answers in almost every walk of life and at every stage of life. Right from taking exams for over 2 decades to the working life which pushes us to have the answers more and more efficiently. The inevitable happens: we quietly ask questions and loudly proclaim answers. Not before long, the quietness seeps deep within till nothing is heard. And in the deep and dark chambers of the self, those whispered questions are answered with our own assumptions before they emerge as answers. But The Question is making a come back. Search engines have become more efficient, effective, and extremely fast at providing answers. A suspicious "did you just google that?" is taking away the pride in having answers. Data is aplenty and answers are hidden in it like gold underground. "Where to dig?" is becoming more about asking the right questions. The world is already complex web of interdependencies making the legendary "flutter of the butterfly wings stirring up a storm" an everyday reality. Then the question becomes how does one get over the strongly indoctrinated habit of wanting to provide answers with the art of asking questions. The most prolific questioner of Athens Socrates said famously " ...the highest form of human excellence is to question oneself and others". Germans seem to have a greater appreciation for the art of asking questions. Grundsatzfragen in German means fundamental questions. Some German companies are known to have jobs called Direktor Grundsatzfragen, sometimes even whole departments dedicated to Grundsatzfragen. In her book, The Art of the Question, Marilee Goldberg writes, “A paradigm shift occurs when a question is asked inside the current paradigm that can only be answered from outside it.” In developing the habit of asking powerful questions the following considerations can be kept in mind:
Awareness of the urge to give answers and hesitation to ask questions
Type of questions relevant in the context
Awareness of possible emotional impact a question can have on the other
Awareness of the urge to answer: A question when posed creates a sense of incompleteness which we rush to take care of with an answer. Watching that urge and observing what happens when that urge is resisted can give us very useful information about our emotional landscape. A similar process can be adopted to the hesitation of asking questions. Understanding how we respond to these situations emotionally is valuable in overcoming them. Just watching this urge can help to overcome these urges within a short period. Types of questions: Questions can be of three broad categories: 1. Those with a definite answer: These are questions exclusively about facts 2.Those with a subjective answer: These are questions exclusively about subjective preference 3. Those that need reasoning: These are questions that require careful consideration of various points of view before a decision is arrived at. I would like to add another category called "Fake questions" i.e statements, judgments, advice disguised as a question. They usually begin with words like "Don't you think.." "Isn't it true that..." Emotional impact: It is important to consider the emotional impact of a way of questioning the other. This will help in choosing the right tone of questioning. The 3 tones of questions are 1. Those causing defensiveness. These are typically questions that start with "Why...". These are interrogatory questions and are mostly concerned about the past. 2. Those causing openness or closeness: These typically start with "What...". These are questions that are more concerned about the future and can be used to expand the thinking or funnel it down to choose from a wide range of options available 3. Those causing desire to act: These are typically questions that start with "How..." and are concerned with action. Hopefully, this gives some food for some thought on the mind-expanding art of asking questions. Please feel free to ask questions in the comments section
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