Have you experienced workplace ghosting? I thought this was restricted to online dating, or at worse prospective employers ghosting candidates. But what about that email/message that goes unresponded for months by a colleague, by your boss, by a peer? What prompts them to mete out the silent treatment?
Irrespective of the reasons here are some ways to deal with it:
1. Avoid second-guessing the reasons: In the world of over-communication, there might be genuine reasons your message has gone unnoticed. See if you can remind them after a reasonable time. The key is to keep the reminder non-judgmental, devoid of sarcasm, and any tone of voice that will communicate passive aggression. After all, you need to work together. And yes, stop counting those "friendly reminders" in red.
2. Escalate the medium: If the response is time-critical see if switching up the medium works. The volume of communication has a medium based hierarchy. We get more emails thank text messages. More text messages than phone calls. More phone calls than people walking up to us. Lower the volume higher the priority. Avoid escalating the volume in the same medium (multiple emails) or escalating to the boss. Escalating to the boss when ghosted is like a nuclear option. It consumes the relationship and nothing grows in its place for a long time
3. Highlight what is in it for them: Most communication ends up being one-sided. The tone typically is "I want something by so and so time". The messages that get responded to first are the ones that have something for us. When feeling ghosted see if you can approach the communication outside-in. Very rarely are transactions beneficial to only one person. Shifting the frame to the other person and seeing what they stand to gain or lose and highlighting it in your next communication might do the trick.
4. Give an option to say "no": This is a well known psychological trick in negotiations. Getting the "no" out first is a road to "yes". Most of us do not like to say no. Especially when the message indicates the other person wants a "yes". Making it explicit that they have an option to say no usually has the opposite effect. Another way to leveraging our sense of safety in saying no is to frame what you want as a negative request: Would you mind or would you have an objection to.......elicits a "no" which is in your favor while preserving the safety in saying no.
What other strategies have worked for you? Do comment
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