A frequently asked question during my coaching/mentoring sessions is "...how do I achieve work-life balance..". Before peeling off the layers of this phrase a bit of history would make sense. My research indicates that this phrase, work-life balance, originated in the 80s, from the UK's Women's Liberation movement. The movement advocated for flexible schedules and maternity leave for women. But while men were socially unencumbered to pursue their career goals without worrying about housekeeping and family-raising, working women were expected to work and maintain responsibility for housekeeping and family rearing. So In the 80s, a frequent refrain pointed out this obvious work-life imbalance asking could women in the workplace really “have it all”.
Also, there was a neat division between work (factory/office) and life (home/family) when this term originated. This neat boundary has all but vanished in this day and age. The technology of ubiquitous screens and connectivity has blurred the boundaries between work and non-work.
Another boundary that existed earlier was between work that put food on the table (means to live) and passion (meaning to live) that was an avenue for personal fulfillment. There has never been a time when these two areas could potentially overlap as much as they do now.
The above two shifts in the context mean that the balance of work-life and it's presuppositions need to be relooked at. The presuppositions mainly are: work and life are distinct, and they are on either side of a balance, and it is in our hands to balance. The shifts in context make it clear that work and life are no longer distinct and they are not on the opposite sides, whereas they are interlaced creating a complex and intricate tapestry of life.
Then what is behind this question? In my view, it is 2 things: not wanting to be stressed or listless and wanting to feel fulfilled. To achieve these two things what needs to be balanced is performance and potential. And it is an ever-shifting dynamic balance.
The above illustration tries to articulate this idea. When potential is higher but is not manifested as performance it leads to listlessness and underperformance. The most likely feeling associated with this is fear of failure and a need for safety. On the other side when performance is higher than potential it leads to stress and burnout. The most likely feeling associated with this state is the need for validation and security. The point when potential and performance meet, a person is more likely to feel fulfilled, content, and "in-flow".
This point of equilibrium is dynamic, meaning it needs work and keeps shifting.
Here are some strategies that will help with achieving equilibrium between potential and performance:
Sense of Purpose: Put meaning to live ahead of means to live. The former takes inner search and more often than not is highly resonant with our hidden potential. A sense of longing to do something we are not doing is a good north star guiding us towards our purpose.
Validated Learning: Erie Ries, the author of Lean Startup, the originator of this term, defines it as an iterative process of learning and validating the learning in the context it is required (paraphrased). Such learning requires an ability to tolerate failure and use it as a stepping stone.
Get Uncomfortable: As the equilibrium between potential and performance is dynamic, staying slightly ahead of the potential creates a positive tension to dip into inner reserves. The level of discomfort could be an early warning sign to not slip deep into the burnout zone.
Practice Self-care: Self-care is a force multiplier that helps us stay on course towards our purpose, tolerate failure enough to keep learning, and push ourselves into discomfort zones to stay slightly ahead of current potential.
Self-care can be zero, positive or negative. As it is a multiplier the results are nullification, amplification, or destruction of the equilibrium.
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